We left off at the end of Part I with a clip where our hero appears to be very interested in men. While that clip seemed pretty conclusive, it wasn't. Yes, our hero seemed extremely comfortable in that role. But that can be easily explained by one of the fundamental principles of VDIF--that Jean-Claude Van Damme is one of the finest actors of all time, and certainly has no fear of taking on "stretch" roles.
Perhaps these images will clue us in?
Not really. These, and the many other images available, only tend to show:
a) Our hero has big muscles that he likes to show to people;
b) Our hero attracts gay fan boys; and
c) Our hero, at times, exhibits questionable taste in fashion.
Ultimately, what we need is to capture a moment in time, unscripted and unacted, that is probative of our hero's sexual orientation. But how do we do that? Well, we go where everyone goes to find such unscripted and spontaneous interactions: Pointless European variety show dance numbers.
So what does this video tell us?
Really, it only establishes one thing--that our hero is sexually attracted to women. It has no bearing on his attraction toward men.
Conclusions:
When taken in light of his numerous marriages to women, our hero Jean-Claude Van Damme is either:
a) A straight heterosexual male; or
b) A closeted bisexual male.
Either way, Jean-Claude, we here at VDIF support you and love you as you are.
If anyone out there has any further evidence that would help us advance our inquiry, please email the vdifmaster at vandammeitsfriday@gmail.com.
Have a great Friday, because it's:
VDIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure that video proves that our hero is sexually attracted to women. He might be turned on by: shaking his butt on TV, someone he was imagining humping rather than the dancer, the TV host checking out his gyrating butt, or a crowd screaming for him.
ReplyDeleteI say the evidence is still inconclusive either way, except that he either does get turned on by something, or fakes it well for TV. :-)